It came time for me to get a new car and I’d had my eye on the new Ford Mustang. As my husband and I drove towards the car dealership’s I asked him to stop in the Ford lot. He drove past saying, “As Jeff Gordon fans, this family will only ever drive Chevy.” - WALE

I pulled a guy over for speeding 85mph in a 40mph zone. When I asked him why he felt the need to be going so fast, he told me didn’t deserve a ticket because another cop had just given him one for not wearing a seatbelt and he was 45 minutes late to work so he was trying to make up lost time. – WALE

My coworker asked if we could switch shifts on a night I really wanted off. She told me she was at her peak in ovulation and really needed to be with her man. - WALE

An employee was caught not washing his hands after using the restroom. The bathroom was out of towels and he didn’t want to come out dripping water he’d have to mop up.

I got sent out to get food and when I got back my friend complained that there was a tomato on his burger when he had asked for no tomatoes. I told him I had ordered it correctly (even showed him the receipt) and he refused to pay me for lunch because the tomato had left residue on it making it not as enjoyable for him. – WALE

I had called my fiancé about our plans for the evening. He told me he was going to hang out with the “guys.” Still excited about his recent proposal, I decided to call all my girlfriends over for daiquiris. We had dinner nearby and then when we took it back to my apartment, my boyfriend was sprawled out on the couch in his boxers with a headset on. Apparently hanging with the “guys” was playing Call of Duty with his friends over the Internet. – WALE

I tried to post last night’s WALE and my internet provider was down. When I asked what was going on, he said maybe the release of the new Halo game had overloaded the system. I guess I’ll use the same excuse to explain to my teacher why my homework postings were late. - WALE