My roommate had racked up a bunch of gay porn pay-per-views on my cable bill totaling over $250 dollars. When I came to collect, he denied it (he’s the only gay one in the house), then he tried to say he didn’t know it cost extra and finally tried to barter that he would take out the trash everyday and not leave his dishes in the sink for others to clean up to pay off his debt. Things he should have already been doing in the first place. – WALE

My sister had her cell phone taken away for running up her cell phone bill going over her minutes. I needed her to take me to hockey practice (all of my gear is really heavy) and she said she couldn't and that I needed to walk because she had to wait by the home phone for her boyfriend to call since she didn’t have a cell phone at the moment. – WALE

A guy at jack in the box ordered 20 tacos late one night. When I gave him his total at the window he told me had spent all his money on weed but was willing to share a bowl with me in exchange for the food. – WALE

My friend was down to come to the movies, but when he found out he had to pay for himself, he told me he didn't want to go and see THAT movie because he had already seen the trailer and had seen all the good parts. - WALE

One time while changing cars in a parking lot, we discovered another coworker climbing into the back of a camper shell in his truck. When we recognized each other, he told our group that he was thinking about buying one and wanted to see what it would look like on his truck. We found out a few days later his wife had kicked him out of the house and he was living in it. – WALE

Once when I was dating this girl, her younger sister had this total jerkoff of a boyfriend living with them and mooching off the family. I ignored it because it wasn’t my place. Finally he felt bad and decided to treat us all to dinner. When it came time to pay, his card was denied and as the waiter handed it back I looked at the card and noticed a completely different name on it. When I asked him what the hell was going on he told me in hushed tones that he belonged to a large crime family back east and was in hiding. – WALE

After a wedding we had attended, my fiancé and I talked about our last names and whose should change. She surprised me by saying I should take hers. When I asked why she explained that while I have brothers, there were no men left to continue the family name on her side and that it would fall on her to continue the family tree. She wasn’t joking. – WALE

My classmate flaked on meeting up to work on a school project that was worth a large part of our grade. Feeling pushy, I asked what had come up and he told me he told me a meeting had been scheduled last minute. When I asked what kind of meeting, he told me it was the secret kind he couldn't talk about. - WALE