I once had a patient stumble into our pharmacy during the night shift complaining of chest pains. He was elderly and was exhibiting the signs and symptoms of someone who may have just had a mild heart attack or the beginning of something just as serious. We told him to leave immediately and meet a staff member in the hall to be escorted to the ER. He refused and then demanded that we fill his prescription for SL Nitro tablets “stat” because he could die at any moment and didn't want to be sitting in our waiting room if it happened. – WALE

I was heading down on a business trip and decided to pay my brother whom I hadn’t seen in two years a visit. I told him which day I would be in town, but when I called, he told me he had tickets to the new Michael Jackson movie and had to see it because it was only in theaters for a limited time. – WALE

A boy scout was selling popcorn outside of our local grocery store, not liking popcorn I nicely told him if he sold something a little sweeter like cookies I would definitely buy. The boy’s father came up and told his son not to waste time on a sexist like me because I’d only buy from “those” girl scouts. – WALE

One time, while helping some little kids with their food, my hot co-worker pulled me aside and started making out with me. Thinking this was a sign of things to come, after our shift I started talking about our hot moment. She told me it probably wouldn’t happen again and that the only reason it did was because she gets turned on by seeing a guy be great with kids because it shows her how good of a parent they’ll be. – WALE

My friend decided to throw a birthday party last minute. I told her I couldn’t come because I was too worn out from a Nordstrom’s one day sale. – WALE

I approached a woman at a bar who stopped me before I could say anything and said that the color coordination I had chosen combined with my skin tone put me way out of her league. - WALE

A customer tried to get a refund on his cappuccino because a noisy car alarm outside was disturbing his zen and ruining his coffee experience. - WALE

A potential juror tried to get out of jury duty by saying he was a racist and would probably not be fair to the defendant. All the people involved in the case were the same ethnicity as the juror. – WALE

A juror got out of jury duty by telling the court that he had been wrongfully convicted in his own trial and couldn’t wait to “screw someone else over.” – WALE

To get out of jury duty, I tried to convince the court I was contagious with the flu. I got out, but first had to get inoculated with both vaccines by the Courthouse’s nurse. – WALE

A guy tried to be exempt from jury duty because he refused to enter the metal detector feeling undignified and embarrassed to have to remove his belt and hold his pants up just to get into the courthouse. – WALE

A customer demanded to be served before other patrons waiting in line because he was in a “hurry” for his big break as an extra in an episode of CSI, and that everyone should understand this was his chance for stardom. - WALE

During a poker night, one of the final two guys said his pregnant wife was on the phone going into labor and he had to go now, so they should just split the $500 winnings down the middle to make it fair. We found out the next day she was only four months pregnant. – WALE

We were playing a game of Cranium and our team lost by one point resulting in us having to do something really humiliating. Afterward one of our friends said he had the answer, but chose not to say it. When we asked why, he said he liked to keep people’s expectations of him low. – WALE

A black woman tried to get out of paying her bill by accusing me of being racist for recommending the dark chocolate desert. – WALE

A co-worker was late to the graveyard shift. He told me he couldn’t miss the Yankees Angels playoff game that went into extra innings. We are security guards and had the game on a TV in the office. – WALE

I pulled over an elderly woman driving alone in the carpool lane. When I told her of the violation, she told me I was mistaken and that she was indeed carpooling. She was driving with Jesus. – WALE

I tried to pump my own gas once but a guy came up and stopped me saying it was illegal in the state of Oregon. There were 12 other cars and it ended up taking longer than it should have. When the guy came up, he told me the wait was worth it because he was risking his life exposing himself to cancer so that I didn’t have to. - WALE