During a poker night, one of the final two guys said his pregnant wife was on the phone going into labor and he had to go now, so they should just split the $500 winnings down the middle to make it fair. We found out the next day she was only four months pregnant. – WALE

We were playing a game of Cranium and our team lost by one point resulting in us having to do something really humiliating. Afterward one of our friends said he had the answer, but chose not to say it. When we asked why, he said he liked to keep people’s expectations of him low. – WALE

A black woman tried to get out of paying her bill by accusing me of being racist for recommending the dark chocolate desert. – WALE

A co-worker was late to the graveyard shift. He told me he couldn’t miss the Yankees Angels playoff game that went into extra innings. We are security guards and had the game on a TV in the office. – WALE

I pulled over an elderly woman driving alone in the carpool lane. When I told her of the violation, she told me I was mistaken and that she was indeed carpooling. She was driving with Jesus. – WALE

I tried to pump my own gas once but a guy came up and stopped me saying it was illegal in the state of Oregon. There were 12 other cars and it ended up taking longer than it should have. When the guy came up, he told me the wait was worth it because he was risking his life exposing himself to cancer so that I didn’t have to. - WALE