I met a girl at a bar and after hanging out for a bit we decided to head back to my place. We drove separately so she could leave in the morning. On the drive home, I stopped at a red light and got rear ended. I get out of the car to see the girl I met at the bar. She apologized saying she was texting her husband that she wasn’t coming home and wasn’t paying attention to the road. – WALE

A girl was once giving me some oral relations and being as turned on as I was, proceeded to return the favor. She freaked out and stopped everything telling me that she thought I was pushing too fast for a relationship. – WALE

My boyfriend broke up with me. He told me I was the perfect girl, but that my boobs weren't big enough for his tastes. – WALE

This girl had been nagging me to go out with her for a while so I finally caved. She was OK, but when we made out at the end of the night, she was such a horrible kisser that I told her I couldn't continue because I was gay. – WALE

My girlfriend at the time caught me in my bedroom with another girl. We were both in our underwear. When she asked me to explain what was going on I told her we were doing a photo shoot using lingerie for a photography class. When she asked where MY clothes were, I told her I had spilled something on them and that those AND all my other clothes were in the washer and dryer. – WALE

An employee once tried to call out saying he was broken down at a mechanic shop. Apparently he didn't realize my phone has caller ID and showed up as "Brad Home". – WALE

I had once let my son borrow my card to fill up his gas tank. When I looked at my bank statement several days later I noticed an additional $150 in charges. When I asked him what they were about, he told me he must have confused cards. Our cards are different colors and have our own respective pictures. To make matters worse, he used it as a debit putting in my PIN code. – WALE

After a long night of partying, my friends and I got pulled over. When asked if I had been drinking I said I was Mormon and could not drink for religious reasons. The cop quickly noticed the cross hanging from my neck. - WALE

I had once asked a girl out for drinks. She told me she wasn't going to being staying in town long enough to get to know me and didn't want to waste each other's time. – WALE

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. When I called her on it, she said she had left me an email and changed her relationship status on facebook and that it was my fault I hadn't checked recently. – WALE