I pulled a person over for speeding and they told me that it was their birthday. They must have forgotten that that information is displayed on their driver’s license or they forgot what month they were in. – WALE

My friend stopped seeing her boyfriend of three years when she found out from another friend that her boyfriend secretly had a non-malignant cancer. She was afraid she would contract it as well if she stayed around. – WALE

I came home one day and discovered my fridge had been completely emptied, even the shelves were gone. When I asked what happened my roommate told me he had thrown a party over the weekend and needed a place to keep the keg cold. – WALE

A girl canceled our lunch date saying the humidity was too severe and it would ruin her hair right before work. - WALE

I once complained to customer service about my phone being broken. They told me to look at the back and tell me what color a stripe was. I told them it was red and they said the warranty doesn’t cover water damage. I tried to tell them the neighbor’s dog had grabbed it and chewed on it. - WALE

I ran into an old flame at my 25-year high school reunion. I had dumped her back in the day telling her she was too immature and that it wasn’t meant to be. We reflected on the past and before we knew it were seeing each other. Before things got too serious, she asked if I was sure this time around. I said yes. When I grew tired of her a few months later I told her she was the exact same person from high school that had never changed. – WALE

My boyfriend disappeared for four days and I began to genuinely worry. When I finally tracked him down he had said he had turned off his phone to test how much I cared and whether we were ready to take things to the next level. – WALE

I once was working in a retail store and felt uneasy about a customer with some super shifty eyes. At one point I happened to walk past him as I saw him put something in his pocket. When I came up, I could see the telltale blocky shape of a music CD case in his pocket. When I asked him if I could see what was in his pocket, he told me it was his personal dictionary and that I was being racist accusing him of not being intelligent enough to carry one around and left the store. - WALE