I once had a patient at my pharmacy pick up an order for 300 Vicodin. Within the week he was back holding a vial full of cloudy water. He tried to convince us that he fell into the spa with the bottle still in his pocket and all of his meds had dissolved. He needed more. – WALE

I got pulled over one time for turning left against a red light. A policeman immediately pulled me over and asked why I had ran the light. I told him I wasn’t from this area and my GPS had told me to turn left so I just did it, trusting its judgment. – WALE

I went with a group of friends to a gig. I offered to drive on the way and that someone else would drive home. Everyone partied in the car on the way down and when we parked and I tried to get some alcohol for myself they denied me because everyone was already too drunk that I had to be the DD on the way home. – WALE

I was drinking with my friends in a park one time. A cop appeared out of nowhere and looked at all the the beer lying around. He tried to write me a ticket for being drunk in public. I told him the beer couldn’t be mine because I was 13 weeks pregnant and stuck my belly out as far as I could. – WALE

A date I was on ended abruptly after I told a girl how many children I wanted to have. She told me my 5-year-plan didn’t sync with hers. – WALE

When I used to work at a fast food restaurant a customer came up and ordered a double cheeseburger with no cheese (AKA a hamburger). I put the order through and went on to help the next customer. That customer came back yelling at me that there was cheese on the burger. He demanded an additional free meal claiming that IF he had been lactose intolerant he could have died. –WALE

It was my 20th birthday and my friend told me she couldn’t make it because she had severe sunburn. – WALE

Kanye West justifying his rude actions because he felt MTV was racist. - WALE