My date for the night canceled on me. When I asked why he told me it was because he had gotten his ex girlfriend pregnant and had to take her to planned parenthood for an emergency visit. – WALE

My girlfriend broke up with me because she said I looked too much like her brother naked. - WALE

I asked my friend to come out with me to the bar one night after I just got a bonus check from work (drinks on me) and he said he couldn't because he had "a raid" in World of Warcraft in an hour. - WALE

I had come home from a long day of work and wanted to get rid of some stress. I went up to my wife and tried to be sexy with her. She didn’t really play along and when I finally asked why she wasn’t interested, she told me she had just masturbated an hour before and wasn’t in the mood. – WALE

An employee of mine ended up showing late to work again today and was written up for it. When asked why he was late. He told me he couldn’t find matching socks. He wears pants at work. - WALE

At one point early on in high school I decided I wanted to take a couple of AP courses since I wanted more of a challenge. So when I got around to asking my guidance counselor about signing up for a class she told me they don't offer those kinds of classes to students like me. - WALE


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