I had been sleeping with a girl for a few weeks and started to find sex with her boring. One night, in the heat of the moment, I tried to flip her around and she stopped the whole entire thing. I told her I was just trying a new position and she told me if I wanted to treat her like a piece of meat, I should go to the butcher’s shop. – WALE

A friend of mine had invited everyone to her party except for me. When I found out the day of and asked why I wasn’t invited, she told me I was, but that the day she meant to tell me my mood ring showed a black color and she didn’t want to talk to me if I was pissed off. – WALE

It was raining and I asked a friend to coffee and she passed. She said she only had summer shoes and flip flops and needed to go shopping for warmer shoes before she could hang out with anyone. – WALE

I watched a man get harassed by one of those Rosetta Stone software kiosks. The guy asked him if he wanted to learn a new language. He told the salesman he didn’t know how to read. He was holding a shopping bag from Borders. – WALE

I went to a party and I noticed all of our friends were at a party except for one. When we asked him why he didn’t come, he told us he was invited because he was told he wouldn’t like the music. – WALE

A customer who comes in everyday demanded special treatment. Jokingly, I said that deserves a tip. He replied that it was my job and if I wanted that something extra I better throw in a little song or dance. - WALE