My mom told me that the reason she drinks so much is because of my use of marijuana. She's been drinking for over 20 years. I've been smoking pot for 5 years. - WALE

My boyfriend canceled our dinner plans we had made weeks in advance because of school. When I came by later and asked which class it was for, he told me it wasn’t for him, but obedience school for his dog, Rex. – WALE

One time the pantry was completely empty. When I asked my sister (who doubled as a roommate) what had happened, she told me she had smelled something rotten and not taking any chances had thrown everything out. - WALE

My parents were in town from out of state and when I asked my son to join us for dinner he told he couldn’t because a Halo match was about to start that was more important. - WALE

An employee never showed up one Monday. The next day, when confronted, he explained that at his old job at a bank, the day prior was a holiday and he assumed that it was the same for every other job. – WALE

A customer called to complain about a late charge on his credit card. He told me it would have been on time when he mailed it, but the post office had just raised the price of postage by one cent (unbeknownst to him) and it was returned to sender. - WALE

An employee was late and when called, he said that it wasn’t possible. When he got to work, he tried to explain that his roommates had pulled a prank on him marking all the calendars, dates, and times in their house to Thursday instead of the actual day, Wednesday. – WALE