Share a Lame Excuse

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A student’s excuse for a paper being late was that he had dropped his laptop and the “k” and “m” keys had broken off and he couldn’t type his paper. - WALE

I asked my son to help me load the groceries into our car and he told me he couldn’t because it was high noon and he didn’t want to sunburn. – WALE

An employee told us she was late because her car was trapped in her tandem garage and she didn’t want to wake her roommate for the keys because she knew she brought home a boy last night. – WALE

I had spent a lot of time flirting with this cute guy, he didn’t really seem to be interested and finally confessed that another redhead had ripped out his heart and he wasn’t ready to give “my kind” another chance yet. – WALE

It was an important game in our softball league, and one of our guys was tagged out. He would have been safe by a mile if he slid. When he got to the dugout he told us he had to use the bathroom and was afraid he would crap his pants if he had slid. – WALE

A co-worker whose turn it was to drive our carpool disappeared after work. He told me he could have sworn my wife had brought my car down to me during lunch so I could drive myself home. – WALE

All of a sudden one day, I noticed dog feces all over my backyard. I don’t own a dog. I finally caught my neighbor flinging it over our wall with a shovel. When I asked him why, he told me that they were clearly squirrel turds from the trees in my backyard and therefore, my problem. – WALE

A teenager came to the library and I informed him of a missing book. He told me he had taken it to his dad’s girlfriend’s house and there had been a big fight. He said there was a restraining order placed against them and now he can’t get near it. – WALE

Share A Lame Excuse