Today, the water got shut off in our apartment. When I asked my boyfriend what happened he said he couldn’t pay BOTH the water and the cable bill and he needed his cable to play games. When I asked him how we would bathe, he told me it wasn’t a problem because we have a swimming pool. – WALE

An employee didn’t feel like coming into work because he was too upset that the Dodgers had lost the playoffs. – WALE

I was at a bar flirting with a girl. I tried to make out with her and she told me I had to wait until she could see me in regular light to find out if I was really attractive enough. – WALE

My buddy and I needed to get a quick bite to eat and he told me the only place he could go was In-N-Out because it was the only Christian place to eat. – WALE

My mom said I couldn’t get a puppy for my 16th birthday because I haven’t shown enough responsibility with pets in the past. The last pet I had was a fish I forgot to feed when I was eight. – WALE

I asked my boyfriend when he was going to grow up and make something of his life. He told me not to worry because he felt his chances of winning the lottery were pretty good. – WALE